She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
