if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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