More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
