A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
