He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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