I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
