we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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