She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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