did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
