Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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