therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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