I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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