sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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