The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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