i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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