I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
