Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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