I can text with my tongue
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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