Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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