how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
