I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
