So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
