I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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