I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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