I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
