So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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