I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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