yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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