So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
