phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
