Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
