why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
