We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
