Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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