there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
