Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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