So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
