worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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