I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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