THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
