We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
