then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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