I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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