dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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