Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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