My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Still dying that you shit outside
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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