so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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