one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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