You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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