I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
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