did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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