I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame