She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
