I just cut my nipple shaving
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
