In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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