repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
