I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
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