A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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