he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize