Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
