I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
