I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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